The Diary of a Young Girl

Surprisingly "light", it subverted my initial thoughts that it is very heavy and serious.

However, it just suddenly gives my heart a "sting" here and there.

I cannot say truly that I can relate, but her manner of writing is just the same as how I wrote in my teen years, and her feelings towards family is kinda the same. How the pettiest of things can be such a big deal for a young girl. I totally get that one. One particular chapter spoke to me, how young girls can be so insecure - the musings of an ugly duckling was certainly my language back then. 

Her innocence, the anecdote about her excitement about her period was really funny, and then pulling back later on that she's no longer allowed to speak about it ever. And then how she describes the female organ casually. How fun it was to read her infatuation with Peter. And what transition. From the innocent girl to hormonal one. Those thoughts I considered sinful during at that age. I know I write about those "thoughts". 

The imagery of their living situation, and the discomfort always become debatable, and I don't really discount that it's horrible. From my point of view (as a person coming from a 3rd world country), it could be a luxury. The thing is, the issue is not really the discomfort, it is about being voluntarily locked up, choosing that over death. The lack of freedom. Makes you think of all the little things that you can do today so freely, how often we take that for granted.

But I digress, I know this isn't about me. I think.. the reason why I kept on reading, is that it is relatable. And what makes it sad is that most of the time, Anne doesn't really consider her feelings valid or something because it's nothing compared to what she thought was happening outside. This is probably one of the most relatable things. And sad actually, we judge people's hardships as "nothing compared to" some other. 

I have to acknowledge that..

That last entry. Death.. it just cuts off 

Reading the afterword is truly heartbreaking. 

It's been a whirlwind of emotions for me. At first I thought how there's some lightness to it somehow, even sitcom-ish level of 2ish families living together..

But then you reach the afterword and it was just different. Two pages that has profound impact, I cannot move on.

All this time then, watching Netlfix WW2 in color, that 2nd to the last episode. How could someone do this. 

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Probably the heaviest book I've ever read. I am not really the saintly type but I did say a little prayer after this. 

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..celebrate life, live fully, lead a good life, be kind.

Life is beautiful.

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I realized I can't really move on to another book until I allow myself to process this first

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And how do I do that during my drives .. drive in silence? How can I listen to Pink Pony Club with this on my mind.